India Tomorrow

And so the adventure continues with a flight to India tomorrow morning. Very early tomorrow morning, I should mention, which brings on a immensity of feelings, all rather subdued. I think it was only yesterday that I cognitively realized we were leaving so soon, the transitions are continuous. The only constant. I do feel ready, I feel ready for just about anything, in fact.

Hard to exactly make sense of what I'm feeling tonight. This trip has been pretty shattering so far, but not at a rate that I can't handle. being in such unfamiliarity (yet familiarity) leaves me feeling that I'm missing some part of myself, that some part of me still resides in Bellingham with my community. I am trying to let go of feeling that way. Pull back into myself and realize how complete I am right now, because the fact of the matter is even if I went home right now everything would be different. People are off traveling, situations aren't the same, everything is constantly changing and there is nothing to cling onto. If I place a part of myself so far outside of myself as to rely on certain situations for it to be a reality than it isn't really mine, and perhaps never was to begin with? I am trying to recognize the fact that I am complete right now, and have access to all my resources and all parts of me. I especially need to become familiar with this fact considering that I have at least a few months more travel in front of me, and I need to be solid.

This is a tough one to l learn especially as I start to feel my social skills polarize and diminish. For example, I met a fire circus from all over the place the other day that performed and did workshops in the refugee camps. I sat down and talked to a few of them for awhile, and then went over to their guesthouse that evening while they had a poi workshop and I found it really hard to connect with them. I've been interacting with the same people for a month now and perhaps and losing some versatility. At the same time I gain versatility at making communication in intercultural situations.

Can't believe it has already been so long, the thought of going back to the US feels increasingly more depressing. Not the people, however. I am realizing more and more how incredibly lucky I am! My community situation is a very rare one I think, I don't know if most people have become accustomed to feeling as met and supported as I do in a regular basis at home.

I feel very ready for India. I've been so excited for such a long time. it feels difficult, however, to formulate solid intentions. I am beginning to see the extent to which intentions are a huge guiding force when traveling. The universe certainly provides in a myriad of creative ways.

The first image is some puppies having their way with me at the village. The next is a temple in mae sot and the lines are bats, it was a long exposure. The next is the head man of the village, picture taken after I interviewed him and the last is the ESP classroom in Meala. I added a few pictures to old posts as well, so take a look.